Between the moon and a chevy

I love my boyfriend. He is a cuty pututy.
Bad news: One of the stones from the ring he gave me fell out somewhere....i have worn this ring every day for the past year 1/2, and now I feel naked without it.

Speaking of naked. I feel naked without my nipple ring. I know it sounds stupid, but i liked the way it felt. But it was time to take it out. And I don't even want to think about the possibilities of permanent damage from it. Yuck....*shivers*
I do not however miss the belly button ring. That thing was just a pain in the ass!

I have been crazy amounts of busy lately...and so much shit needs to be done, but I can't stop biting my nails!!!
So my dad is getting old. The realization has hit. He has a pinched nerve in his back and cant walk, sit, lay down or anything without hurting. Another trip to the doctors today, and no relief...just rest they say...and of course some pretty strong painkillers. And my sisters birthday dinner he had to keep walking around, and ordered so many beers to take some of the pain away. Apparently, he wasn't concerned that the hangover could possibly be worse than the back pain. That makes me feel sad, for him. I want to be nice and ask what I can do to help. And of course I do, but I am not the "there for you" girl that I could be if I tried. Something is holding me back. Maybe its that fear of letting my parents too close to me and too into my life. I like to have distance, and for some reason me helping him could lead to those conversations that always end with me frustrated about money, jobs, school, and my future, while my dad is left frustrated because he thinks his daughter has her head in the clouds.
That leads me to say that both my mother and boyfriend were tearing my dreams apart sunday night and saying that both of my feet have left the ground and I have to come back down. But they don't worry because I will settle down soon. But I don't ever want to "settle" down. Because that would be letting go of what I want to accomplish in life. How frustrating. Why can't people ever be supporting of things.
My sister loved the clothes I got her for her b-day. Of course I didnt ruin it by telling her I only gave her the stuff I didn't keep from my shopping spree ( I am so self centered *feeling guilty*) I cannot believe that she is 15! Wow. Unbelievable. Sometimes she just acts so immature, and I feel bad for her because she is such a loner. That is a whole nother story unto itself right there though.

hmm whats up with the archives?

Check out the Brit Slang:

Fringe: Goofy short bit of hair over the eyebrows. American-type people call them "bangs" but this is so ridiculous that it's not worth thinking about.

Full-frontal snogging: Kissing with all the trimmings - except dribble.

Naff: Unbearably and embarrassingly out of fashion.

Po faced: A "po" is a bedpan, used in the days when people poured the contents into the street onto passers-by. Ergo, "po faced" means someone who has a face like a lavatory bowl.

Prat: Gormless oik. You make a prat of yourself by putting both legs down one knicker leg or playing air guitar at pop concerts.

Wally: See prat. A wally additionally has no clothes sense.

I worked a double today, and I am exausted. I need to get those dr. shols foot things for my shoes, but I feel like such an old lady going into the grocery store to buy them. I am surprised online grocery shopping hasn't picked up quickly...where else do you feel comfortable buying condoms, or creams for unknown rashes. I jsut send my bf to get all the embarresing stuff. I am too much of a chicken to buy anything like that. I would rather have the problem for months than go buy an embarreding product. I wonder if pharmacy people take an oath of secrecy or something. Some perscriptions could ruin a persons social life, and now-a-days, I see all sorts of kids my age working behind that counter...uh oh. haha

This cook at work was hitting on me today again...the lines he uses cracks me up. I am just not fast enough to think of smart ass comebacks either when I know he is just teasing me, so I feel like an ass all the time. But when don't I make an ass out of myself. We sell a "cup-o-dirt" as a kid's dessert (you know you love em) and i was asking to see if we had any that night, and the guy goes...yea there is plenty of dirt outside. And I just sit there like "OK" sounds good to me, until he starts laughing his ass off at my dumb ass. I need to get some funny lines or something....what sould I do? Watch more comedy central, because it's damn sure not natural for me to make a joke.

Well...the archives are still missing....they are on the blogger server still....but not on this webpage grrrrr

I am one of those girls that no matter what I wear, how I do my hair or makeup, cannot look anything other than a good girl. I could not pull off the "sexy" or "mysterious" look, or even the "punk" look if I wanted too. It's my face. It's just too...good looking...but since when is goodness a bad thing? I need a revamp in my style. The only thing possible for me is that naturalistic "hippie" look, but I can only go without wearing a bra for soo long ;o) I am thinking about dying my hair again....not red. I should ask Kat to do it for me...hers looks so WOW and mine looks so blah.

I am stressing out majorly about work. I am not making any money working at Fridays. There are just too many waiters and not enough people in the restaurant. Although I love the coorporate feel to it, and the managers are awsome, the money factor is crushing my goal for tuition reimbursments. Damn. I don't want to go back to the diner, but I think I am going to have to. I talked to Billy (yea I know...what an idiot) last night and he said he pulled a double on sunday and walked out with $350 in his pocket. I can't make that in a week at fridays if I tried. So I am gonna go in next week and see if I can pick up some shifts. And then I had one of those lovely "money" talks with my dad. Apparently I am going to have no fun this year at school. I am going away a lot of weekends for outdoor adventure training, and then have to wait tables somewhere (it's looking like the diner now) on fri night and pull a double on sundays. So no more clubbing. No more parties. Oh, and not to mention I am trying to get a job as a D.A. for at least 10hrs a week at school...which isn't too bad because you can do your homework. Money sucks....no loyola sucks because it is too god damned expensive of a school. What made me think it was a good idea to go to a 30,000 a yr school???

i think i am majorly fucked up in the head....other than the fact that i think i may have just lost all of my archives ahhhhhh!

so who likes my new layout???

i have to fix the damn guestbook again grrrr....

So I uhhh accidentally deleted my homepage with all my links and info
yea i am feeling really stupid right now.

so gnight, and i will probally spend all of tomorrow afternoon doing nothing so dont expect another links page setup for a while yet...i know you are so heartbroken

Thanks Joe for the advice. Now the font is changed a little darker....is it okay now?

I almost forgot....Fidel has a new site...check it out!

A little wierdness going on between this guy at work and me. He bugs the shit out of me, and I don't know whether he is joking or serious half of the time. I know the guys don't like him to begin with, but I feel bad judging someone off of someone else's opinion. Well, wierdness still. He does little things like the other day commenting on the way my eyes change colors...it made me wonder why the hell is he staring so intently at my eyes? And then today, he does stuff to tease me all the time. Grrr...how aggravating.

I have this bad feeling churning in the bottom of my stomach which wont go away. It started this afternoon when my old friend Lori came into fridays with Dan...if you don't know who dan is, read last weeks front page of the newspaper and look under the heroine part...get the hint? So they came in to pick up his paycheck. What does that mean? That she is good friends with this druggie? It wouldn't surprise me but the last I heard was that she was in and out of rehab for something and now I see her with this sketchy guy? It makes me want to cry. She was such a sweethart, and had so much potential, if she just didn't go after those bad guys. So that was on my mind all afternoon, and it got me thinking about the group of girls I used to hang around, and I realized that they are not goign to turn out to be anything in life. Natalie has a great chance, but that is about it. That makes me so sad and sick to my stomach :o( I either picked really bad friends growing up, or didn't give enough support or something to them that I could have done to make them want to excel more. Damn, life sucks for some people. I just hope that my life means something and is somewhat important someday. And I wish that everyones could be....but why do some people just strive and expect less than others?

If 45 people have visited the guestbook than why doesnt anyone write anything? Huh?

The Guestbook is looking a little better. Sign it and I'll visit your homepage and add you to my links

Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad boys...you make me feel so good yea
Why is it that good girls like bad guys? Luckily for me I have a good one I can't get rid of, or I would be the neighborhood slut going after the "problem" guys with issues. I owe Marty my sanity...and my good name. Lol
So why is it that if one person expresses their bad mood to me, I go postal and become completely saturated with their moodiness? I need to learn to push things off my chest with a shrug and an eye-roll.
I heard someone say "oh, my-lanta" today, and it made me miss Sarah...I need to call her and have a get together day...especially since I have off all this weekend...as of now.
I have been working on this new web page design, and it is looking great...the name: Rug Burns. hehe like it? but I can't for the life of me figure out how to take it from frontpage and get an actual working site for it. Am I just stupid. I even got an FTP thingy and havent been able to figure that one out either. Damn, sometimes I think I am a complete idiot. If anyone has a couple words of advice or information on what to do, email me at fool2believe@aol.com.....PLEASE!

I love barnes & nobles. Actually, I like the library better because it is free, and I buy WAY to many books for my budjet.

Why do I like reading so much?

I want to....no I need to go dancing. I am craving hammerjacks I think.

I am having one of those days...
I can be such a mean and horrible person when I get in a bad mood. I realize that I can't a;ways have things my way, but I am just tired of not doing anything I really want to do...well that is not completely true. Sorry, irritableness is coming back. Maybe I am just moody because of my period.
My parents are leaving tomorrow for the beach. I wish I could go with them.
I am starting to realize how little time I am actually putting in at work. I am always getting cut early, and therefore make no money. I am broke as can be.
Maybe I am so pissy lately because I have to spend all day being nice to custumers, and the overniceness is too much for me...I need some bitchyness to balence myself out.

I got my web cam working nicely and I want to give thumbs up to grovestreet.com for their excellent free upload services!

I feel like work is taking over my life....that I am becoming an office space joke on flare, and everytime I hear that Train song, Drops of Jupiter, I think of Scott (his bro, I work with). So to top it all off....the dreams have started. You know your spending way too much time at work when you start having nightmares about it and fellow employees.

Marty says I am white as a ghost, nice huh. So I am gonna see if I can get an hour of laying out in his pool today before I have to leave to pick up Grace.

Joe had a little accident last night, with a parked car....at a dealership....SORRY JOE!!! Hope everything works out okay. I'll call ya later on to see how things turned out.

The 4th is coming up! Marty may have a party on Teusday- hopefully, because I already invited a guy from work to come. A cute guy too...any single girls out there that wanna come? Oh wait, thats right...I have no girlfriends...how pathetic.